BEWARE BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH - EXTRACT
page 3...
EXT. NEW HADRIAN’S WALL - MIDDLE OF UNITED KINGDOM - DAY
On the north side of the wall CONSERVATIVELY DRESSED BREXITEERS terrorize the COOL DRESSED REMAINERS on the south side with Cliff Richard music PUMPING out of LOUD SPEAKERS. The Remainers drop their flags and run away in fear.
MUSIC CUE: ‘’Summer Holiday’’ by Cliff Richard
On the south side of the wall some CONSERVATIVELY DRESSED REMAINERS terrorize the COOL DRESSED BREXITEERS on the north side with Black Sabbath music PUMPING out of LOUD SPEAKERS. The Brexiteers drop their flags and run away in fear.
MUSIC CUE: ‘’Paranoid’’ by Black Sabbath
A BREXITEER with a loud speaker screams to the other side of the wall...
BREXITEER
We wanted to Brexit so we could kick you all out of the country.
A REMAINER on the other side proclaims with a loud speaker...
REMAINER
We voted to remain, so we could stay here long enough, to eventually
take over and kick you lot out of the country.
BREXITEER
Charming.
REMAINER
(desperate)
Hey Brutus, fancy some mousaka?
BREXITEER
(smug)
Nah, I’m happy with my fish and chips thank you very much!
EXT. HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT - DUSK
Remainers are handing out leaflets outside the Houses of Parliament to revoke Article 50.
A MAD MAN with a ‘’THE END IS NIGH’’ banner in BIG LETTERS, is smiling like a CHESHIRE CAT and laughing HYSTERICALLY out of madness.
INT. HOUSE OF COMMONS - CONTINUOUS
Inside the Parliament the Ruling Elite are playing a game, instead of seriously sorting the countries problems out.
Smiling and singing in unison. Mimicking the movements of the song...
RULING ELITE
(all together)
You put your right foot in, You put your right foot out, You put
your right foot in, And you shake it all about, You do the Hokey Pokey,
and you turn yourself around, That’s what it’s all about...
EXT. NORTH ENGLAND FACTORIES/ WORK PLACES/ COAL MINES/ STREETS - MORNING
Factories are letting off a lot of smoke up north.
CUT TO:
WORKERS in lines entering work places.
CUT TO:
COAL MINERS descending into the unknown.
CUT TO:
ENGLISH PEOPLE are dancing in the streets and singing...
ENGLISH PEOPLE
(singing)
We’ve got our country back...
Union Jack flags on every street corner. People ecstatically happy.
INT. HOUSE OF COMMONS - LIGHT DIMMING
Brutus and Cassius declare in unison for the whole universe to hear... The whole universe inside Parliament. The Ruling Elite listen on...
BRUTUS/ CASSIUS
(together)
We are British through and through. Proud to be British.
We would die for this country. Unlike Boris Karloff, he’s Romanian or a Turk or a vampire or something European.
RULING ELITE
(in unison)
Hear, hear!
INT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
A POLISH WOMAN is Pole dancing seductively in a strip club.
A group of INFATUATED MEN try to raid the stage. Stopped by the BOUNCERS. A fist fight ensues. The woman continues to Pole dance unmoved.
EXT. DOVER - MORNING
All the non-English/ non-Scottish/ non-Irish/ non-Welsh people in the UK are not kicked out, they decide to leave by their own accord. A mass exodus back to Europe and abroad, by ferry. Cars flood the port of Dover.
Some travel on small fishing boats, or even tiny boats with oars all the way to Europe.
Some travel to the Americas, to discover new lands, looking out at the horizon from their big old fashioned traditional ship, others sail this journey on fishing or rowing boats. Big American coloured sails and flags decorate their boats.
INT. TRADITIONAL BRITISH HOUSEHOLD - CONTINUOUS
The family is sleeping peacefully... The TV is still on... The News is on...
ON TV
At Dover. A European IMMIGRANT sailing home tells a journalist...
IMMIGRANT
(Italian accent)
The Romans are coming!
Another IMMIGRANT 2 shouts behind him.
IMMIGRANT 2
(Romanian accent)
The Romans are coming!
Someone from a boat screams...
IMMIGRANT 3 (O.S.)
The Romans are coming!
As they descend into the unknown and new horizons, there are voices all around, on shore and in the sea, first whispering then bellowing to the waves many times, over and over again. As their protestations echo throughout the eternal depths.
IMMIGRANTS
(in unison, over and over again)
The Romans are coming! The Romans are coming! The Romans are coming!...
EXT. PARK - SUNNY AFTERNOON
SUPERIMPOSE: Peace on Earth!
England is much quieter. There are less people in parks. But. People still drink tea, and eat fish and chips in the park cafe. Smiling. Everyone is English.
Others go for walks in the park and some play football in the beautiful green spaces. Familes and friends and romantic couples. Happy. Blue skies. Glorious sunshine.
INT. TRADITIONAL BRITISH HOUSEHOLD
The family have fallen off the sofa and are sleeping in foetal positions on the floor. One of them, the YOUNG BABY of the family, has woken up, and is staring perplexed at the TV.
ON TV
The Antiques Road Show is on. The PRESENTER of the show is talking whilst examining a priceless vase.
PRESENTER
Everything appears more peaceful, until...
The vase drops from his hands and SMASHES into a million pieces.
BACK TO SCENE
The family has woken up.
EXT. NEW HADRIAN’S WALL - MIDDLE OF UNITED KINGDOM - RAINY DAY
SUPERIMPOSE: Act 2 - The Ice Age
Remainer revolutionaries on either side of the wall are singing to each other, and anyone who cares to listen.
REMAINERS
(in unison)
We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, but I’ll
know we’ll meet again some sunny day...
It is raining profusely.
Some Remainers on the north side, stuck on the wrong side of the wall, are trying desperately to escape and climb over the wall, but they are held back by THUG LIKE BREXITEERS.
Police sirens appear by chance. A street camera moves directions towards the scene. In the distance the sirens are flashing, getting closer.
The thug like Brexiteers, get inside a car and drive off. Suddenly, their car explodes. A REMAINER TERRORIST runs from nowhere, erecting a huge EU flag ontop of the dying ashes.
EXT. SCOTLAND - CONTINUOUS
A Pro-Brexit march is going on in Scotland, full of English people.
PRO-BREXIT DEMONSTRATORS
(shouting)
We want our country back... We want our country back...
ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE: A CLIP OF A BORIS KARLOFF DRACULA FILM
BACK TO SCENE:
In front of the march is a man called BORIS KARLOFF ( aka Boris Johnson). He is walking down the street with two women, one in each of his arms, many coins and notes in his bulging pockets, falling out of his pockets, scattering the streets, not only pounds but euros as well, like a never ending flow of money, they are drowning in money. A horde of women, like a harem following him and chasing him, many more follow, hundreds, almost thousands screaming in jubilation.
WOMEN
(all together)
Boris!
Ecstatically happy, both Boris and the women and the money, with a huge smile on all their faces.
From a distance everything else in the march has become non-existent.
INT. PUB - CONTINUOUS
Outside the march is going on. Inside. A man is face down on the pub bar. Throwing up profusely.
Then a few seconds later, downing another Bloody Mary.
DRUNK BRIT
I don’t care if I have no money. Just as long as I’m a free Brit.
EXT. NORTH SCOTTISH COAST - CONTINUOUS
The Brexiteers have left the farthest reaches of Scotland on Viking ships.
The MEN HAVE LONG BEARDS commanding the oars. The WOMEN ARE STANDING NAKED, with thick pubic hair. Hitting the men with Marie Claire magazines, so they keep rowing. The sun is setting and the moon is taking them home.
ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE: 1966 ENGLAND WINNING THE FOOTBALL WORLD CUP
EXT. THE NORTH POLE - MORNING/ NIGHT/ DAWN
Morning gave birth to new horizons. The North Pole. Landing on ice was greeted with JUBILANT SCREAMS.
BREXITEERS
We’ve finally left Europe. Where can we watch Eastenders?
TRUTH OR DARE? - extract
Page 30...
...She takes him to the end of the platform, half hidden in the darkness and light where the tunnel begins and ends, kisses him. Moments later the police arrive at the platform and they start to have sex.
LANA (CONT'D)
If you love me. Kiss me. If you
love me. You gotta kill for me.
INT. THE BUENOS AIRES CASINO - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)
The casino is closed. The Boss is arguing with Lana. Alone.
CAESAR
(raging)
Your a tramp. A low life. You been
with more men than the two World
Wars combined. Get out of my sight.
She turns to leave.
CAESAR (CONT'D)
You love Orson?
She walks back to him. And stands close so they are almost touching.
LANA
(confidently)
Yeah. I love him.
He SLAPS her. She bursts out screaming in agony.
CAESAR
You love him?
LANA
(whimpering)
I love him.
He strikes her with his fist. She cries in pain. Tears falling down from her eyes.
CAESAR
You love him?
LANA
I love...
Before she can say anything he hits her again. More violently this time. She falls to the floor FACING THE CAMERA with a huge grin on her tears ridden face.
INT. ORSON’S FLAT - NIGHT (BLACK AND WHITE)
Lana is cuddling up with Orson on the sofa. Watching TV.
LANA
I have two tickets. Just the two of
us. We can escape from it all
tomorrow. To that big yellow light
up there in the sky.
ORSON
I love you.
LANA
I love you too. More then I ever
loved anyone. We’re good together.
They fall asleep next to each other. Lana looking genuinely happy.
DREAM SEQUENCE
Daylight. The sun is shining. Lana and Orson riding on horses on the merry go round, going round and round in circles. Both joyous.
LANA (V.O.)
(repeated over and over
again like a stuck record)
I love you... I love you... I love
you... I love you...
DREAM SEQUENCE ENDS
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. ALLEYWAY/ INT. CINEMA AUDITORIUM - NIGHT (BLACK AND WHITE)
Orson coming out of the shadows, looking at his watch, waiting in the alleyway to murder Caesar, just like Humphrey had anticipated all those days ago.
ORSON WEARS A 1940’S FILM NOIR STETSON
HAT AND TRENCH COAT
The streetlights on the alleyway are working now. Lightly lighting the place. But there is still much darkness.
CUT TO:
‘’DOUBLE INDEMNITY’’ playing inside (Billy Wilder directed 1944). The scene when the Barbara Stanwyck femme fatale character reveals to the duped insurance salesemn, Fred MacMurray, that she never loved no one and shoots him in defiance. As lovers they had planned to murder her husband for his money. Caesar and Lana watching intently.
CUT TO:
Meanwhile in the alleyway...
ORSON (V.O.)
A love drug. I was hooked. I would
kill for her. Even kill myself for
her. The Millenium Wheel spinning
round and round this dizziness of
desire. I was walking a man
possessed. My feet heavy from the
exploitation. Each footstep
dragging me along the smoke rings
created by life, which went round
and round, again and again, but
then disappeared into thin air.
CUT TO:
The couple still watching the film.
ORSON (V.O.)
Puff the magic dragon indeed. Lived
by the sea. Here the river cut
through everything. Person and
place. Nature and object. I
inhaled. Exhaled. And then I threw
the cigarette down the gutter.
Below. That special place, where I
live with myself and you everyday.
The Thames like a monster leading
us all to the sea saw cemetaries.
Some freedom perhaps, from the sex
sex sex, guns guns guns and the
full flush.
CUT TO:
Orson looking at his watch.
ORSON (V.O)
Red faced from the cold fever.
Caught red handed between her
thighs. High stake poker and hold
em up as the police sirens left
this metropolis long ago to far off
galaxies millions of light years
away. The black and white night
flew shadows on street corners and
alleyways dangerous but sublime
picturing nonsensical minds. Was I
innocent? Was I guilty? The
director? The actor? The producer?
Or just a man possessed.
EXT. PICADILLY CIRCUS CINEMA - CONTINUOUS (BLACK AND WHITE)
Caesar and Lana leave the cinema arm in arm as if in love. They enter the alleyway. Silence, only their FOOTSTEPS. London silenced.
LANA WEARING A LITTLE BLACK DRESS, RED
STILLETOS AND A GREEN FELT TILT HAT
WITH DRAPED VEIL
CAESAR WITH A 1940’S TRENCH COAT AND FEDORA HAT
Suddenly another pair of FOOTSTEPS join the scene. Following them. All we hear is the CLIP CLOP of the various heels on the ground for a while.
MUSIC CUE: ‘’Suspense driven Classical music’’
Then Orson walks towards them from behind, just as he points his gun at Caesar getting ready to shoot...
Another man (CHANDLER, known before as the Writer) comes out of nowhere and SHOOTS Orson as the silence is interrupted by a LOUD BANG.
Orson falls to the ground, what appears like streams of notes of money falling out of his pockets scattering
(The Director outwitted by the Writer. Who is really pulling the strings in this story?)
CHANDLER WEARING MODERN CASUAL CLOTHES
Lana SCREAMS. Then her scream turns into an evil smile. Caesar remains silent, hidden in the shadows. The
streetlights emphasizing Lana and Chandler’s gentle features.
CHANDLER
(interesting, coherent,
gentle, mature,
storyteller voice)
I did it Lana, I did it cause I love
you. He can’t hit you no more.
LANA
Thank you Chandler, thank you, lets
get out of here before the police
turn up. Meet me tomorrow at
Leicester Square at 4 o’clock.
They disappear into the darkness.
EXT. LEICESTER SQUARE ODEON CINEMA - NIGHT (BLACK AND WHITE)
Chandler is waiting at Leicester Square for Lana. There is a premiere for a film called ‘‘TRUTH OR DARE?’’ in BIG LETTERS happening at the same time. Crowds are gathering. The hustle and bustle of typical Central London life continues all around, well into the night. He sits with others, behind the barriers, waiting for the premiere to begin. Time passes, he looks at his watch change from 4 to 5 to 6 o’ clock. Two hours have gone by and she still hasn’t come. The premiere begins. He still waits. Leans on the barrier and smokes. Then he tries to phone her mobile, but it appears as a wrong number. Just as he is about to leave, he thinks he’s been stood up, the police enter the scenario. The police corner him from all sides and rush towards him. He runs onto the red carpet to escape. The actors and director and media are there.
CHANDLER
(shouting, throwing his
arms to the heavens)
She set me up, she set me up.
Cameras are flashing and the police wrestle him to the ground. On the red carpet are two of the characters from this film dressed in tuxedos being interviewed by the press and signing autographs for their adoring fans: the actors who play Humphrey and Orson (the Actor and the Director). They look amused at this madman.
ATHENA'S JOURNEY - extract
page 1...
BLACK SCREEN:
SUPERIMPOSE: ‘’...And I recall Anaktoria, whose sweet step Or that flicker of light on her face,
I’d rather see than Lydian chariots Or the armed ranks of the hoplites... - Sappho poem’’
FADE IN:
EXT. ATHENA ACROPOLIS, PARTHENON - DUSK
Dusk. Winter chill. But sunny. Plenty of light in an unknown location. CAMERA IN FRONT OF A FIGURE appearing out of the shadows like a ghost from the forgotten past coming to life. A heavily pregnant GREEK WOMAN, wearing dirty modern expensive clothes, all in white like an Ancient Greek tunic, stumbling up the marble steps.
CAMERA PULLS BACK. In the distance below the city of Athena, the sun was setting, the sky was a beautiful red, yellow and blue. Getting slowly darker. The first house lights were slowly being lit. There is complete silence all around, only the sound of her heavy, tired breathing. She keeps going, now reaching the top of the steps and on the high ground.
CAMERA PULLS BACK MORE to reveal an ancient site, a temple’s large marble entrance recognizable. Walking through rougher terrain and remnants of a past culture, forged in marble and columns and statues.
SUDDENLY THE CAMERA IS BEHIND HER and we realize she is desperately trying to reach the Parthenon on the Acropolis. The beautiful, large imposing, architecturally superior Temple.
Stumbling, slower and slower. Then collapsing a metre away. Reaching with her hand to touch the Parthenon, but her fingers are inches away. As she dramatically dies in this holy pagan place. Then, as her water breaks, a new born baby comes out of her, like the Goddess Athena herself, CRYING on the ground, an umbilical cord still attached to the mother.
Suddenly darkness reigns, the woman and baby not visible, many stars in the sky and in the city below shining like prayers for an eternity, only the sound of the BABY CRYING, HOWLING like the mournful wind through the mysterious night.
EXT. ACROPOLIS PEAK - DAWN
The sun is rising. The Parthenon looks magical and beautiful in the light. Timeless. Everything appears normal until...
The blue and white flag of Greece flying in the wind.
The Greek Evzone FLAG GUARD (Konstantinos Koukidis) pulls down the flag, wraps it round his body and jumps off the Acropolis silently. Committing suicide. His fall seems to go on forever.
German Nazis, APPEARING IN SHOT for the first time, shocked behind him.
EXT. ATHENA/ ACROPOLIS/ PIRAEUS HARBOUR - DUSK
The Acropolis and Parthenon in the distance. A long road. German tanks entering the city. Reinforcements. Sun setting in the distance.
KONSTANDINOS STAVROPOULOS (V.O.)
(Athens Radio Station
announcer, Greek accent)
Attention! Attention! The capital
is falling into the hands of the
conquerors. On the Sacred Rock of
the Acropolis, the blue and white
is no longer flying proud. Instead,
it is replaced by the banner of
violence. The guard of our flag,
ordered to take it down to raise
the German flag, committed suicide
by jumping off the cliff at the
point where the blue and white was
flying. Long live Greece!
German fighter planes flying above the Acropolis in unison.
CHILDREN run out of their houses to see this sight fade away into the horizon.
The sky a violent red and yellow.
German battle ships entering Athena’s harbour from the Aegean sea. Reinforcements. Sun setting in the distance.
A GREEK FISHERMAN trawling up the nets full of fish, ignoring this picture. The smell of seawater fresh in the air.
EXT. KAFENION - DUSK
TWO VERY OLD GREEK MEN playing tavli (backgammon) on a table outside. Walking sticks resting on their chairs. The radio playing.
KONSTANDINOS STAVROPOULOS (V.O.)
(on the radio)
Attention! The Athena Radio Station
will no longer be Greek after a
while. It will be German and will
be broadcasting lies! Greeks! Do
not listen to it. Our war continues
and will continue until the final
victory! Long live the Nation of Greeks!
The radio broadcast stops for the last time. An eerie silence.
The two old men sipping ouzo, passing the time, happy, like they’ve seen all this before, and survived it.
One of them throws the dice, coughs loudly. The other scratches his head and MUMBLES something under his breath.
The street light comes on, as if something is still working.
The CAMERA BEGINS TO PULL BACK slowly until you see the whole street, then the whole area, finally until the whole of Athena is shown in SHOT like a beautiful dream, where everything is at peace.
EXT. ATHENA CITY STREETS - 11PM
The streets of Athena deserted. An eerie silence. Broken by...
A GUN SHOT. There is a German tank wandering around the streets. A TANK SOLDIER standing out of the opened hatch with a loud speaker.
TANK SOLDIER
(German accent)
This is a curfew. No one is allowed
out after 11pm until 6am.
The tank continues to wander around, delievering its message, but the voice of the loudspeaker is silently replaced by another radio broadcast.
NAZI CONQUERER (V.O.)
(Radio broadcast by the
Germans, German accent)
The Mayor of Athena, retaining all
the powers in the city of Athena
under German Occupation, announces
that today, Sunday, April 27th and
at eight o’clock am the German
troops entered the city of Athena
and took possession of it. Under
the German troops, unequivocal
assurances were given that the
population of Athena have nothing
to fear. We call everybody that
they behave orderly, with dignity
and courtesy. The Mayor of Athena
commands that, as of this time, the
normal life of the city resumes
smoothly.
EXT. THE ACROPOLIS, PARTHENON - DUSK
The Nazi flag has been erected on the top of the empty Acropolis, near the Parthenon, conquering Ancient Greek thought. It is being blown in the wind, there are no people.
EXT. ROAD NEXT TO OLYPMIC STADIUM - MORNING
SUPERIMPOSE: ‘’Winter, December 1941... The Great Famine was a period of mass starvation during the Axis occupation of Greece during World War II.’’
Morning. Cloudy and dark. There are a lot of anxious Greek men, women and children on the streets of Athena rushing around aimlessly. A strong angry wind, dust in the air creating a light mist. Germans in Nazi uniform driving around in army cars, a long line of tanks and others marching on foot like they are headed for war singing their battle hymns, shouting aggressively at the terrified Athenians.
CONSPIRACY DREAM ASSASSINATION - extract
Page 99...
The year 1963. Marilyn Monroe is dead. Or is she? A woman called Norma who is morphing into the famous movie star, is stalking the streets of Los Angeles...
EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET 1963 (BLACK AND WHITE)
The police have been chasing Norma's therapist who has gone crazy, he is running around the streets naked, head over heels in love with her. Meanwhile, Norma is ecstatic after her long therapy session, walking in the opposite direction, will their paths meet again...
... Norma starts SINGING and dancing ‘’Runnin Wild’’ as she continues to walk off. Wearing the same black dress now, ukele in hand, as Marilyn Monroe did in the film Some Like It Hot.
EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET 2014/ INT. SHOP 2014 - CONTINUOUS ACTION (COLOUR)
As she stops singing, she walks off giggling and shaking sexily like she did in the film set at the beginning of the
film. Men from the 2014 present look at her and wolf whistle. The director in the real world says ‘’Cut’’. But she
continues giggling and walking down the road, walking off the film set...
DIRECTOR
Cut. I said cut woman. Cut. Cut.
Cut. God damn it...(here goes the
name of the actress playing Norma)
WE SEE: the same CINEMATOGRAPHER, DIRECTOR and CREW from the beginning of the film, now all dressed in modern 2014 clothes and fashions. Part of the 1960s style set used in the previous scene but different large modern 2014 movie camera. Cinematographer does not turn camera towards her departure, implying the film has stopped rolling, this is the real world.
CINEMATOGRAPHER
Look. She’s gone crazy. She thinks
she’s Norma Jeane.
ASSISTANT
Or Marilyn Monroe. She’s leaving
the film set. Going to meet the
public. Her adoring fans.
DIRECTOR
She’s left the set. My film. My
beautiful film. She’s ruining my
film.
CINEMATOGRAPHER
...(Actress name). Come back. We’ve
stopped filming. Its time for the
next scene... This is the real
world now. Christ...
Actress has walked off the film set and is still acting like Marilyn Monroe. We are in the present, everything looks like it’s Los Angeles in 2014. She goes inside a shop and buys some cigarettes. Cashier has a confused look on his face and scratches his head, looks at today’s newspaper to check the date, wondering why Marilyn Monroe is in front of him.
Actress keeps walking down the street blowing kisses to men. Women look jealous. Men smile. A woman asks her for her autograph and gives her the book Marilyn Monroe: My Story. The actress signs it as Marilyn Monroe. She continues her journey til she disappears in the distance into the busy modern city, full of 2014 people, cars, shops and noise.
EXT. DEALEY PLAZA - DAY (COLOUR)
A journalist is reporting that JFK will come to Dallas tomorrow.
SUPERIMPOSE: ''Thursday morning, November 21st, 1963''
She interviews the public on the street and they're all excited. One is not, Oswald, outside the Book Depository.
JOURNALIST
What do you think about the President?
PUBLIC 1
I can't wait to see him. I'll bring the whole family. Even film it.
I love JFK. Tomorrow's gonna be a glorious day.
JOURNALIST
Where are you going to stand?
PUBLIC 1
Right here by the grassy knowl. I'll always remember that day,
this place. It'll go down in history.
What do you think about the President?
PUBLIC 1
I can't wait to see him. I'll bring the whole family. Even film it.
I love JFK. Tomorrow's gonna be a glorious day.
JOURNALIST
Where are you going to stand?
PUBLIC 1
Right here by the grassy knowl. I'll always remember that day,
this place. It'll go down in history.
The journalist asks Oswald, his t-shirt nearly completely red...
JOURNALIST
How do you feel about seeing the president for the first time?
Oswald doesn't answer, instead starts SINGING the ''Russian National Anthem'' in Russian, in defiance.
JOURNALIST (CONT'D)
Must be a Dostoyevsky fan.
PUBLIC 2
Or he needs to be sectioned.
PUBLIC 3
(paranoically, angrily)
Get out of here. Get out of this country. Go to Russia. Communist.
You red fucker... Lock up your daughters. Your children. They've
invaded our country. They've turned our breakfast cereal into
Ushanka, Kubanka and Petushok hats. The Red Army has marched
into Times Square.
Some of the public are laughing. Others are angry with clenched fists, shouting. But most people walk past ignoring this scene.
Oswald stops singing and he shakes his body erratically and furiously. He then does the Communist Salute, right fist pumping, he did when he was arrested and led through the hallway of Dallas jail after the Kennedy assassination in 1963.
JOURNALIST
(To her cameraman)
Are you getting this?
WE SEE CAMERAMAN FILMING FOR THE FIRST TIME.
JOURNALIST (CONT'D)
This makes good TV. A man full of love for his country.
CAMERAMAN
Which country?
Oswald continues to SING the ''Russian National Anthem''.
EXT. FILM SET - DAY (COLOUR)
The set of Somethings Gotta Give.
SUPERIMPOSE: ''Hollywood studios. June 1963''
NORMA
(to herself)
Shit. I'm late.
Norma rushes to the film set, wearing the same flower dress and white coat Marilyn Monroe wears in the film. The same director and crew from before, back in character, now dressed in 1960s clothes.
DIRECTOR
Marilyn. You're always late. Always ill. What excuse is it
this time? I'm sorry but we'll have to stop filming. We're
going to find someone new.
NORMA
(in a Swedish accent)
I am Mrs Ingrid Tick. I'm Swedish. T... I... C. It Swedish name.
Mrs Duncan gave me position to take care of children.
The Director and crew with a bemused look on their faces.
NORMA (CONT'D)
(in a Swedish accent)
I have been stuck on deserted island for last 36 years, that
is why I always late.
DIRECTOR
Children? And where are these children?
CREW MAN
Its good. She's trying to get into character.
DIRECTOR
Will you shut up.
NORMA
(in a Swedish accent)
You are children.
DIRECTOR
Ok. Enough is enough. The producers are going to hit
the roof.
Director starts walking up and down frantically. Then stands still...
DIRECTOR (CONT'D)
(calmy)
Well, the clocks ticking Ingrid. I'm glad you've finally
made it back to humanity. You're fired.
NORMA
(in a Marilyn Monroe accent)
Somethings gotta give.
DIRECTOR
You aint kidding.
She turns and leaves in anger. Takes off her clothes and jumps into the pool naked, mirroring the naked scene with Marilyn in Somethings Gotta Give. Norma starts laughing, teasing them by leaning her full leg and arm on the edge of the pool, and when they go to grab her she swims away. The director and film crew start SHOUTING. She swims to the middle of the pool, dives down and doesn't come up again.
EXT. MELROSE AVENUE - DAY (COLOUR)
CLOSE UP of Melrose Avenue street sign.
Norma is walking around LA stark naked...
